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Kissing Story: "Overcoming Pre-Kiss Anxiety" by Rene Blume

This information is directed towards guys, but girls, you could learn something, too, about how to make it easier for him!

Ok, so I'm calling it a method but it's more like a scenario, an example situation that will allow you to have more confidence when you (the kisser) are approaching her (the soon to be kissed). You may want to adapt the method for your own situation or personality. But let me just say, from the woman's point of view, I think this is one method that works. And it does so by diffuses the tension of the situation, and relieving YOU of some of that first kiss burden.

Suppose you're out with the object of your affection, and you think it's all going well enough to test the water with a kiss. Remember, you should have been making some sort of physical contact with her during the night. Subtle touches, like putting your hand on the small of her back as you lead her through the door of the bar, an incidental caress as you inquire about her bracelet. Just something. Anything. This way when you go in for the kiss it won't be the first physical exchange you've had. This can be freaky, for both of you.

Now, even if you have more time until you have to leave, or she has to leave, or whatever necessity of time or space will cause in your mutual departure, you need to pretend that the departure time is NOW. Just do it. It will impose a time constraint on your time together and heighten the moment. This is a good thing.

Next, you need to lean toward her, not with your lips but rather with your check - slightly turned toward her, at the same time as you say, "Good-bye kiss??"

I know I speak for many women when I tell you that we see this as a non-threatening and kind of cute, especially when it's done with a cute smile. From here, if we like you, we're going to afford you the pleasure of a goodbye kiss on the cheek.

And, at this point you have some options. First, pay attention to the WAY we kiss your cheek. If we give you a nice slow, open-lipped, somewhat moist smooch, then consider sliding right over to those willing lips and going in for the kill. And the nice thing is that since you have told her you have to leave EARLIER than you really have to, you now have plenty of time for the real kiss!

You have another option, though, which may better suit your style. You can receive the kiss on the cheek, turn to her with a nice look (direct, prolonged eye contact!) and ask when you can hang out with her again. In fact, this will work even if she gives you a shorter, dry and a perhaps even shy kiss.

What if she doesn't give you anything and leaves you high and dry on the farewell with your cheek flapping in the breeze? Well it means that she's probably not into it, or she's not all that fun, and likely both. Also probably means she's not worth your time.